PICTURE OF MY LIFE ESSAY #8 New Family BY JUNPEI UEDA

10/27/2016

Reminders Photography Stronghold Gallery will be celebrating its 4th year anniversary. We will be proudly organizing Junpei Ueda’s solo show in upcoming November. He is one of the 2015 Photobook As Object workshop participants and he has been working on his book project “Picture of My Life” almost a year and finally it’ll be launched at the exhibition. Prior to the show, Junpei is sharing a series of his essay.

At 27, I gave up my dream of becoming a professional photographer. I started working for the family transportation company with my brother. “Your father was a great boss. When the disastrous earthquake hit, he was the first to drive a truck and deliver newspapers to Kobe. We were the only company to bring newspapers there at that time,” said one of his colleagues. “I was shocked when he killed himself following Akemi’s death, but it couldn’t be helped. They were inseparable.” My colleagues told me stories of my father that I never knew about. I was relieved to be in a place where I did not have to be secretive about my parents’ suicides.

When I was 30, a friend of mine introduced me to Kaori. She is a beautiful and easygoing woman, modest yet strong-willed, similar to my mother. She also found me likeable, and we were married in 2010.

She was pregnant by next spring. As I watched her belly growing, I had an urge to photograph again. Driven by a strong urge to record what was happening in front of my eyes, I attended the delivery and shot the birth of a new life. At that moment, the emptiness inside me started to heal. It gave me the sensation of the growth of a new organ inside me that had been torn apart by the despair. My eyes for my daughter were exactly what my parents had for me. I came to realize that I was loved so deeply.

After I had my own family and children, I was finally able to think about my parents. I remembered and embraced what my parents gave me. I thought what I could do for my new family and found the answer in my past. The memories of my parents gave me the answer; love them like they loved me. I was grateful for my own life, knowing that the spirit of my parents were living inside of me.

—- To be continued to #9.

English translation: Miyuki Okuyama
English proofreading: Tan Lee Kuen

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